Mood:
downi'm of a feeling that herbert armstrong* was right all those years ago when he said the world was going to end in 1972. i mean, it's done nothing but go to shit since, right? and i was born four years after the end of the world, which, if i had some ambition, could put me right in line to take the role of damien thorn or nicolae carpathia or george w bush. but, ambition fades, life goes on, though the world is left behind in ruins, metaphorically speaking of course. wars and rumours of wars, like my original website back in '99 claimed for its theme**, and overpopulation and deforestation and the squandering of fossil fuels and all that jazz, and what's got me worried these days? is it the price of gas, the deaths of soldiers on the other side of the world? wars and rumours of wars, the end of the world. america's got talent and you think you can dance and treasure hunters and fucking malbu beach and a dozen mtvs and only half play videos anymore, and the sci-fi channel is airing law & order and wrestling
at least shannon doherty and that scrawny baldwin aren't selling pathetic scare tactics. that could be one sign that the apocalypse may be ending
it's summer. it's hot. and, i'm overweight and overwrought, and there's a lethargy setting in that makes me want to stop trying to control my world and change that larger one and just settle into my piece of the puzzle, the pie, the machine***
i think i'm ready to just be a cog, a robot, a citizen, to stop railing against the system, to stop ranting against the world and just let things be. it's only going to get worse, the world. there's nothing you or i can do to stop it, so we might as well enjoy the ride. the carousel is broken**** so hold on to your horse and fly away like mary poppins and those silly british kids, to narnia, to never never land, to whever you need to pretend you are to keep life from getting you down
or you... we... i... could all just give up and go live in a van down by the river
--insert laugh here, but don't make it too big a laugh cause that's wasteful--
* it should be noted that i grew up attending armstrong's church every week for 17 years, so while that 72 date was past, the end of the world was always so damn fucking nigh, putting a bit of a damper on quality social development
** my first "essay" on that original website was drawing connections between kosovo and columbine, for those of you who wouldn't know that by now
*** mixed metaphors were jesus' true gift to mankind
**** one more metaphor for the bunch. gotta love it
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