Mood:
irritatedand, don't read that title the wrong way. i'm not saying anything against the fcc. i'm saying i'm "down with" the fcc. that's right. i'm right there with the fcc, saying fine fox, fine viacom, get howard stern off the air, and don't hold janet jackson and justin timberlake responsible for what they clearly did, and didn't tell the network they'd be doing. if one person was offended by married by america (and, don't even tell me that you weren't, cause i sure was), then fox should not only be fined but all of those involved in producing the show and making the decision to put it on the air should be taken out and shot. and, we might as well throw in whoever wrote the blurbs for tv guide and whoever edited together the promos and whoever put those intrusive little bottom-of-the-screen promos for the show on the screen during other shows, and whoever produced those shows, and anyone who actually enjoyed the show (which apparently couldn't be that many people, since the ratings were so bad, the show already got rejected by america ("rejected by america"... a new show idea? i think i might call up someone at fox right away)... and, all of those people should be shot as well. and we should cook all their bodies and feed them to the starving children of this country, and hand over their assets to the Right in thanks for protecting us all from this prurient garbage
better yet, let's send all those people to iraq. i mean, we've got a numbers problem in the military, right? and, bush claims he won't institute a draft, so, we gotta get new potentially-dead soldiers somewhere. so, the new rule is: you produce a piece of entertainment that offends a citizen of this country, the fcc will hunt you down and shove you right into army boot camp and you will be shipped off to the frontlines in iraq. the fcc will be the new recruitment office. and, as usual with the fcc, we won't hold them up to any scrutiny, cause making sure their actions are justified will just slow down the recruitment rate and further the moral decay of this once great nation
you simulate sex on the air, you blur naked people, you show a critically acclaimed (but unfortunately realistic) war film, you get a one way ticket to iraq. and, the good news: with the way iraq has been going so far, this system should work for a very long time, certainly long enough for us to get a handle on our airwaves and get control of what sort of generic family sitcoms are left behind once all the offensive content is gone. no more fx shows with sex and violence and immorality. no more hbo shows, glorifying criminals and their evil ways. and, while we're at it, no more liberal media news shows and no more history channel, damn it, cause those documentaries about past wars do nothing if not make our citizens realize how bad things might actually be in iraq
the fcc gets to rise up in the chain of command, in the seats of power. hell, let's get the fcc its own cabinet spot. minister of airwave defense, or something appropriately commanding
watchlist for tonight:
- lost (assuming they refrain from showing anyone with any items of clothing missing, or anyone engaging in violence (not in the name of spreading freedom, anyway) or other immoral activity)
- ghost hunters (assuming the ghosts are clothed and the voice phenomenon are kosher and without profanity)
- south park (assuming it amounts to half an hour of blank screen)
- and i mean to get sarah to watch last night's premiere of house (before the feds come and stop me)