the war on the culture of life
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: finger eleven

first of all, happy exploding head day. and, if you don't get that reference, you suck. and, if that reference offends you, good

second of all, new cia director says agents should support the current administration. odd how that wouldn't seem to fit with objective intelligence gathering and reporting, but what do you expect from an organization that was never supposed to have field agents in the first place*

third of all, apparently, there was a fight at a basketball game, or rather something approximating a brawl. and, some players have had some major penalties put on them. gotta wonder whether any criminal charges will be fairly given to the audience members involved as much as they are given to those players

fourth of all, a doctor in utah has been charged of the death of a woman with breast cancer. see, he treated her holistically and she skipped on some chemotherapy and surgery. was it stupid of her not to do what's proven to actually help in a lot of cases? yeah, probably. but, that was kinda her decision. stupidity is not illegal...yet, and probably won't be anytime soon. of course, government folks like to outlaw decision making if it doesn't jibe with the culture of life. that schiavo guy in florida couldn't kill off his braindead wife, and now this doctor in utah can't treat a consenting adult in the manner she wished to be treated. and, euthanasia doesn't even get press much anymore since they locked up kevorkian

when are people going to get it? you don't have the authority to decide who lives and who dies. only government officials can decide who dies, who gets executed, who gets aborted, who gets euthanized, who gets bombed, who gets shot full of holes while defending his home. only government officials can decide which deaths fit with the culture of life

you take your life into your own hands, be willing to be punished for it. you put your life in the hands of some unorthodox doctor, he better be willing to be punished for it as well. that utah doctor (we'll call him pontius, as the freudian slip of a typo on the los angeles times called him**) could face up to fifteen years in prison for doing something he believed was right and could work and to which his patient consented. you'd think pontius would take a cue from kevorkian and do his business in unmarked vans in deserted parking lots, hide that unorthodox shit from the prying eyes of big brother and his ministry of homeland (and culture of life) defense. see, you gotta keep things like this secret, keep revolutionary ideas (whether they relate to medical treatment or what have you) secret until you've got some support. otherwise, you risk jail time or a governor saying your wife has to be kept alive a lot longer, nevermind whether or not she's actually braindead already, nevermind whether or not it's good for her or not

and, why not discourage folks from getting the good medical treatment that actually works, anyway? i mean, we've got a population problem on this planet. maybe, if a few more folks would try some holistic medicine to fight off the big diseases like cancer, we'd not have so much starvation in the world--those sick people being soon therafter dead and all

watchlist:

• i'm not scared
• the daily show

reading:

• slaughterhouse-five maybe

and, my website remodel is finished. go to lemmingdrops.com or www.angelfire.com/ca4/muaddib/index.html to see it. got a lego page now and a page of preblog essays

* yeah, the cia was never supposed to gather intelligence but just be the liaison organization between the other intelligence gathering agencies. odd thing is in recent years, there's been talk of a new department to do the job the cia was supposed to do originally

** doctor's name is actually pontis, david eugene pontis, but the los angeles times got a lovely typo out of his last name

i should be working
Now Playing: blue's clues (in the background)

i should be working on finally finishing the remodel of my website (that's lemmingdrops.com for anyone new here). i've got one more run of my demo copy of frontpage to finish it all and only a couple changes to make (notably adding two new links to the banner that sits atop each page), but i don't feel like doing that today

i should be working on clubhouse blues, which i've been contemplating restarting (again) with some dueling first person narrators... that is, rather than tell this story in the third person, i want to let jimmy and maureen tell the story, switching between the two of them here and there (most likely when it's most inconvenient for them; i'm guessing these two won't be likely to want to talk about their own private matters as much as they might be willing to reveal each other's)

i should be heading off to do laundry, and i will be doing that soon enough. but, there's much else to be done. i've got ten complete novel manuscripts under my belt, not to mention numerous short stories, a bunch of poems and more than a dozen comics (plus a year and a half or so of a comic strip). but, of all that, all that's been published (properly) is a short story (under the snow, about a 1950s russian woman dealing with the birth of her child, not that that tells you anything at all about what it's actually about), and that only in a startup zine that apparently ended up going nowhere. one poem (a slippery piece of the universe) made it into a pathetic collection from poetry.com (big scam setup, so i don't count that as proper publishing). as for comics, i self published a few but never quite figured out how to promote them or get them to more a few people. there were never any serious print runs, and of what few copies i printed, i've still got leftovers

lately, i've even been gearing up to self publish (through cafepress) one of my shorter novels (seeing her naked) just to see how that goes. my latest novel (the gardia set the empress of time) i've sent to a couple publishers and i need to send it out again, but i've hit that motivation roadblock that's come up so many times before. after a certain level of failure (for lack of a better word) it's hard to put in the effort to do it over and over and over again, nevermind that i barely know enough about some of the pubishing industry to even know what publishers or agents might actually want this novel or any of my earlier ones). hell, when i sent out a short story (the gardia set the escalor) earlier this year, even with the writer's market book, i could only find one good publisher for fantasty fiction from an unknown author, and my story didn't grab their interest. so, then it got put away (though it will be on the remodeled website at least, once i get that put together in the next few days) cause i didn't know where else to send it

my comic strip (liquid thought, which was on my site then on comicsherpa at ucomics.com for a while) wasn't a raging success, so i wasn't motivated to keep it up

my message board never got too popular, so i've mostly given that up as well

this blog, for now, could be going nowhere and i can't even tell, and i've got me some rambly skills, and way too much on my mind, so this might last a while. now, i just got to figure out some good promotion for it...

aye, there's the rub. promotion. i can write. i can draw. i think i even do both fairly well (especially writing). but, while i can create great characters and construct complicated storylines and intricate worlds and i can weave a good plot, i've yet to master whatever it takes to convince others that my stuff is worth their time, let alone worth their publishing effort. and, as i learned in self publishing comics, getting some copies together is far far away from getting folks to buy them. that's part of why i want to make seeing her naked available in print, another chance to figure out self promotion. and, then, maybe there will be more where that came from:

• the man with the holes in his hands
• bridges
• grazers or into the mouth of the river of time
• demonangel catharsis
• charlie
• first covenant
• reverence
• beginning
• the empress of time

and maybe i can add clubhouse blues to that in the near future

and i didn't even get into my completed screenplays. yeah, i've got those, too. i'm one of those prolifically failed writers you hear about all the time, and i'm notably too antisocial to change that status anytime soon. fun fun fun

no watchlist for tonight. it's friday, real time is on hiatus, the stargate shows are on reruns until january and i dropped joan of arcadia before the end of season one. plus, i haven't made it to blockbuster today yet to rent two movies... watched the thing last night and liked it and watched the hunting of the president a couple days ago. odd that i never liked clinton when he was president but i like him a little more now (though his line about liking kerry and bush played on the daily show last night didn't do much for me)

almost done reading stripper lessons by john o'brien. if only i'd get more than a few minutes of reading time in one block. maybe i'll finish it at launderland in a bit. next to read... i'd like to try something by vonnegut maybe, since i've still never read him, or catch-22 or the stones of summer... and, i've still got master and commander from the library, though i'm wary to try reading it. if it's bad, fine, but what if i like it? then, i've got--what?--21 books to read. like i need that

still, with the fcc crap
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: green day - american idiot
so, we've gotten so concerned over what our children can see that we can't let them see a naked white woman (from the back and from the shoulders up, only) jump into the arms of a large black man? we've gotten so concerned with what our children see that we have yanked the viagra ads off the air and fired all the scantily clad cheerleaders and escorted them off the premises of our nfl games... oh wait, we didn't do that last bit, did we? gotta wonder about if the folks crying racism might have a point this time. if it were a white player involved, would this be anything?

it's not possible that shoulders are really that offensive, is it? it can't be moral outrage over nicolette sheridan taking off her towel (and showing us absolutely nothing), can it? i mean, if you want some outrage, how about we marvel over the apparent work sheridan has had done over the years, likely to fight off age since all she's ever had are her looks (and not much acting ability that i've ever noticed), but she didn't even look like herself in that monday night football segment. i'd guess a facelift or two, some botox maybe and some lip inflation... of course, what's wrong with that, right?

afterall, we love the recent, extreme takes on the classic television makeover. we give shows like extreme makeover and the swan a second season. we love that with a little surgery, we can all be beautiful. it's right up there with our chance ar being on a reality show could make us famous. fame and beauty, the two godly powers our american culture gives us outside of (and hand in hand with) money. and, the dream is, we can have it all. we can be famous just by qualifying for some reality show, even if it's the most insulting thing around, portraying us as ignorant rednecks or shallow socialites or what have you--we've all got something these shows can exploit to make us look bad, i'm sure

the thing is, as long as we can keep dreaming of joining the ranks of the celebrity gods, the millionaires (instant or not) or just settle in to surreal life quality pseudocelebrity, we don't have to fix our lives as they are, do we? we don't have to be concerned with our economy or our healthcare. we don't have to really think hard about how many people we have to kill in which third world country before we feel good about ourselves, before it truly feels like we're doing some good for the world. we don't have to question the authority of the president or the cia or the ministry of homeland security and how they want to infringe on our rights... don't we want our privacy destroyed? don't we want everyone to see all our dirty secrets? isn't that how we become famous these days?

of course, what happens when we have all had our fifteen minutes? what will the next step be in our battle to be the most shallow, most famous, most forgotten celebrity demigod around? what happens when we all want another fifteen minutes? how many reality shows does it take to get all three hundred million of us another quarter hour of fame? how many surgeries must we undergo? how many houses must we remodel? how many complaints must we file with the fcc? how many times must we pretend we're important and influential before we actually are? how many times must we pretend our voice matters in the grand scheme of things before we're muffled and muzzled for being a nuisance?

how many women must we see removing their towels before we put a stop to the "moral decay" of this country? i for one, am eager to find out ;)

no watchlist. it's thursday

down with the fcc
Mood:  irritated

and, don't read that title the wrong way. i'm not saying anything against the fcc. i'm saying i'm "down with" the fcc. that's right. i'm right there with the fcc, saying fine fox, fine viacom, get howard stern off the air, and don't hold janet jackson and justin timberlake responsible for what they clearly did, and didn't tell the network they'd be doing. if one person was offended by married by america (and, don't even tell me that you weren't, cause i sure was), then fox should not only be fined but all of those involved in producing the show and making the decision to put it on the air should be taken out and shot. and, we might as well throw in whoever wrote the blurbs for tv guide and whoever edited together the promos and whoever put those intrusive little bottom-of-the-screen promos for the show on the screen during other shows, and whoever produced those shows, and anyone who actually enjoyed the show (which apparently couldn't be that many people, since the ratings were so bad, the show already got rejected by america ("rejected by america"... a new show idea? i think i might call up someone at fox right away)... and, all of those people should be shot as well. and we should cook all their bodies and feed them to the starving children of this country, and hand over their assets to the Right in thanks for protecting us all from this prurient garbage

better yet, let's send all those people to iraq. i mean, we've got a numbers problem in the military, right? and, bush claims he won't institute a draft, so, we gotta get new potentially-dead soldiers somewhere. so, the new rule is: you produce a piece of entertainment that offends a citizen of this country, the fcc will hunt you down and shove you right into army boot camp and you will be shipped off to the frontlines in iraq. the fcc will be the new recruitment office. and, as usual with the fcc, we won't hold them up to any scrutiny, cause making sure their actions are justified will just slow down the recruitment rate and further the moral decay of this once great nation

you simulate sex on the air, you blur naked people, you show a critically acclaimed (but unfortunately realistic) war film, you get a one way ticket to iraq. and, the good news: with the way iraq has been going so far, this system should work for a very long time, certainly long enough for us to get a handle on our airwaves and get control of what sort of generic family sitcoms are left behind once all the offensive content is gone. no more fx shows with sex and violence and immorality. no more hbo shows, glorifying criminals and their evil ways. and, while we're at it, no more liberal media news shows and no more history channel, damn it, cause those documentaries about past wars do nothing if not make our citizens realize how bad things might actually be in iraq

the fcc gets to rise up in the chain of command, in the seats of power. hell, let's get the fcc its own cabinet spot. minister of airwave defense, or something appropriately commanding

watchlist for tonight:

• lost (assuming they refrain from showing anyone with any items of clothing missing, or anyone engaging in violence (not in the name of spreading freedom, anyway) or other immoral activity)
• ghost hunters (assuming the ghosts are clothed and the voice phenomenon are kosher and without profanity)
• south park (assuming it amounts to half an hour of blank screen)
• and i mean to get sarah to watch last night's premiere of house (before the feds come and stop me)
  
  Posted by ca4/muaddib at 9:32 AM PST
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false start
Mood:  not sure
i've started today's entry a few times. there was a line about condoleeza rice and her angry ways being more fitting maybe to secretary of state than national security advisor (not to mention her inability to do anything about national security). there was a line about how republican politics and american destruction of the rest of the world was paying off (for now) and life here is comfortable enough, and probably will remain so for a good amount of time (not that leaving all this shit to our kids is the way to go). there was a line about how i had nothing to say today; afterall, the Right dominates this country and holds more of the more powerful offices in this country, sets policy and doesn't listen to suggestions or allow for change from the Right way. but, what's the point--you know?

why bother speaking when no one's listening, even those who are? speak to the believers, preach to the choir, as they say, and they will just nod their heads--oh yeah, this country's gone to hell and bush and his cronies have got to go, and all that--but won't do a thing to fix anything. try to convince the opposition and you're likely to receive a beating if you aren't careful

dr phil can make a thing of how calling us divided is a bad thing cause we're still all american's but so what? a little too late for this quibble, but so are canadians americans, and mexicans americans, and brazilians americans and cubans americans and haitians americans and hondurans americans and folks from panama and uruguay and chile and argentina and paraguay and columbia and, well, too many countries for me to think of them all right now--they're all americans too. we don't hold a copyright to the name. hell, amerigo vespucci*, if you believe his claims in the first place, didn't even make it to north america. the name applies to the darker skinned folks down south who a lot of us wouldn't even care to acknowledge

we are the "united states of america" nevermind the lack of unity. we are not America

we are the thorn in the side of mother earth. we are the favorite child of mother culture**, the scourge of mother nature, burning away resource after resource, damn the consequences, slaughtering insurgents and innocents alike in the name of spreading democracy, when we can't even handle the real thing, instead hiding behind manipulative and manipulated electoral votes lest the more educated population centers get a grip over the direction of this country... not that that would end well, cause you know those hicks on their farms and in their trailer parks have a lot of weapons... maybe it's time we get some liberal militias going, if that's even possible, just to even up the odds and give ourselves a chance

i'll wait for you to stop laughing

watchlist for today:

• the hunting of the president
• jeopardy
• the rebel billionaire
• amazing race 6
• house
• the daily show

* where we get the name "america" for those of you who know nothing

** read daniel quinn's ishmael for 'mother culture'-the voice that guides so-called modern civilization

something's gotta be wrong
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: kevin and bean on kroq
there's nothing to talk about today

the incredibles was great (great voicework, great writing, spectacular designwork and animation, one of the better action films in quite a while). american dreams was great (as usual, juggling numerous subplots and characters and making them all work--to be fair, when the power started going out, my first impulse was that chris had done something, but alas, the protesting isn't turning to outright revolution just yet). the simpsons was great (not the best episode ever but funny stuff). arrested development was great (and i love how this show keeps ongoing plot threads going, effectively keeping itself from being a true "sit"com). the wire was great (mcnulty's forgetting he pressed on d's death was fantastic, marlo's getting out of the trap was a nice touch, the potential nightmare of amsterdam seems like an inevitable failure and bell's admission in the end was one of the great moments in recent television). huff was better this week than last week (though it could get a little darker to match that opening credit sequence, the tone was more even this time)

and, though i screwed up every step of my lemon meringue pie yesterday evening, each error was fixed and the end result was a damn good pie. and, the waffle iron was a little iffy on the first batch of waffles, but then i got the hang of it and those turned out well

and, we got a new blanket and sheets set for the bed that will be delivered in a couple days, plus a couple new pillows

it was a surprisingly good weekend. so, fuck the world. i don't have time to complain right now =]

i don't even want one politic, let alone several
Mood:  caffeinated
bush is back for four more years, the war(s) go(es) on, same ol same ol. so, let's pretend everything's normal. let's join the mindless crowd, ignore the goings on of a couple thousand miles away in washington and several thousand miles more away in iraq and afghanistan and forget about the rest of the world. there is no big picture if you squint your eyes tight enough

in the early to mid nineties, like a lot of people, i watched the x-files. i'd had an interest in supernatural stuff before that, but suddenly there were tv shows and books all over the place, fuel for dreams that maybe there could actually be something more to this world than what our senses show us. all the religious folks have their god and devil, angels and demons, good and evil, but we atheists gotta take what we can get when it comes to the strange and unexplainable. i've been watching ghost hunters on the sci-fi channel of late and recently checked out the big book of the unexplained from paradox press from the library. and, it occurs to me that it's an interesting bit of timing, my renewed interest (not that it ever went away completely) in things supernatural, right when things natural (if political can be called "natural") turned so dour

realizing the nifty timing of it, i'm tempted to embrace it--i even looked up a local paranormal investigation organization, though they don't seem to have any paying gigs, just a bunch of volunteers--i'm tempted to give up on the world and fins something else to distract me...

except that would be wrong

there IS a big picture. hell, i tend to think i'm better at looking at it than a lot of people i know (not that antisocial little ol me knows a lot of people, of course). and, if we aren't careful, the events of that big picture WILL impact the smaller little pixels we call our individual lives before we have the chance to carve out something good enough to keep us from caring how many people our soldiers are killing in our name, keep us from caring how many of our soldiers are dying in that process, keep us from caring how politicians who actually believe in the idea of armageddon seem to be playing their hands right into it, promoting the end of the world... which wouldn't be so bad, if we could actually guarantee that christ would return and god would give us that wonderful world tomorrow of peace and joy and love and happiness, dwelling under his glorious wings forever and ever, amen

but, don't we all know that isn't gonna happen? i mean, can't even the staunchest christians get it yet? can't they see the folly of believing in the great magician in the sky who will make it all better? hell, even if you think a god will come to your rescue, does that negate your responsibility to do something yourself to fix the wrongness of the world? people dying, people starving, violence and bloodshed, lies and murder, day by day by bloody fucking day... and don't worry, god will fix it. how bout you take some responsibility for the state of things and, god or no god, do something about it. you want a "culture of life" you don't outlaw abortion and leave it at that. hell, you don't even outlaw murder, or outlaw war. you create a whole new cultural outlook that will make people not want to kill, whether it be the enemy or the unborn baby. you change people and their views, not pass new laws or declare new wars

or maybe you accept some parts of the way of things for what they are. people will kill each other sometimes. the best you can do is not add fuel to the fire. people will get pregnant when their lives are not ready for children. it doesn't matter if it's "right" or not, whether you want them to practice abstinence or not. it WILL happen. and, as long as you insist on forcing your will on other nations, even for the supposed "good", they will fight back. afterall, they've got a magic sky captain telling them their way of life is right just as much as you've got one. whose god is more powerful? or, better yet, whose god is more forgettable? whose god can be thrown into the trash heap of history more readily? and, if it's not yours, maybe it should be

watchlist for tonight:

• maybe a few more of the second disk extra from the stone reader
• the thing
• still haven't watched this week's the wire and it's on hbo on demand now, so tonight could be the night

reading: stripper lessons by john o'brien

on writing (and getting lost along the way)
Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: saer's watching dora the explorer a dozen feet away
ashcroft's replacement seems like he might be worse than ashcroft, but i'm not in the mood to talk politics right now...

so, i'll ramble about writing. more specifically, i'll cover what keeps me from writing lately: namely, i've got too many big ideas in my head at once. so, how about a list?

artistry. the confusingly-titled future-set epic about where are society is going and setting up a specific way for it to end, involving violent revolution, alien attacks, religious leaders taking over the world, police impounded the unhomed and the destruction of stars. i've got a bible of terminology and technology for this one that expands regularly. i see the whole thing as a twelve part story, to be written in screenplay format, though i'm not sure if it would be twelve one-hour episodes or twelve two-hour movies. needless to say, i haven't put too much effort into writing the actual content of this one beyond my bible and and outline cause it would take the publication of one or more of the rest of my stuff before i had the clout to even suggest this effects-laden thing get optioned, let alone produced

wannabeheroes. there's an outline 48 issues long for this comic and scripts for seventeen of them. but, as far as the artwork goes, i completed two different versions of issue one, with my simplistic art style fitting nicely enough with the dense text and dialogue, and i've drawn some of issue two. but, ultimately, i can't draw this thing fast enough to make it work. if i could guarantee a page a day, i could get the schedule i want. interestingly, if i had kept that schedule from when i originally got to drawing it, i'd be three fourths of the way done now. and, the idea and outline are even older than those early pages. i've toyed with rewriting the thing from the beginning as a half hour format tv series, but i don't have the clout or the fame or anything to get it made, so there doesn't seem much point. this story--four teens setting out to be superheroes in the real world, with densely worded bits about social issues and politics and revolution and life--is stuck in my head though, which makes sense since it covers just about all my usual themes

clubhouse blues. a short novel (i'm figuring on somewhere about two hundred pages when it's done) that is at a pivotal half way point. just last week, i did a read through and edit and got back into it just in time to be rather sick this past weekend, so now i have to get into it again, presumably next week. there's an important scene coming that should make or break the story as something shallow or relatively important and good. the story, by the way, follows four teens (focusing primarily on just two of them) in the last days of summer after the discovery of an abandoned clubhouse in the woods. there is no clear plot, just a series of events that are headed to a very specific climax. the story was suggested by the title, which i came up with for my screenplay, paper song (about a hostage situation in a radio studio, though really about pedophilia, molestation, rape and sex, with a hell of a lot of dialogue), the title of which was suggested by a title i came up with in passing in one of my completed novels a few years back, grazers (or into the mouth of the river of time)

gardia stories. three completed so far, the short stories, the escalor and master caker and the novel the empress of time. set in the fantasy world of gardia which connects here and there with our world. i've got a map, a bible of terminology plus an ever expanding ancient language (including an ancient alphabet) for background material, and lately i've been amassing a lot of new entries for the bible on this one to ready for the second novel, lion, horse, tree, a two-branched plot starting with the abduction of the infant princess flea. i think i'm ready for this one but i want to finish clubhouse blues first. i've got too many unfinished works and false starts in recent years

and, there's my mortician screenplay, for which i've done a lot of reading and research, but i wasn't ready to write when my schedule opened up for it. there's my demonangel cycle of stories, which connect all of my novels and screenplays tangentially if not overtly (numerous unpublished novels and short stories and unproduced screenplays completed so far, too many to list here, though it might be an interesting exercise to put all my titles together to get an idea of how i name these things). there's my vikariad (an online comic, a good chunk of which has been finished and can be read on my website at lemmingdrops.com) about the last ditch efforts by some vikings to fight off christianity. and, there's many many more. if i took the time to talk about them all, i'd probably never get around to writing about them all. of course, that brings me to my point. if i spend too much time planning for them all, i tend to avoid, inadvertantly most of the time but purposely sometimes too, actually writing them. it's easy to skip right past doing what i want to do because life these days supplies way too much to do, way too much busy work and surface entertainment, and the political climate of our nation is a little distracting as well. life gets in the way of life sometimes. not that i'm complaining about my life. there just aren't enough hours in the day to live all of the life you want sometimes, you know. and, it's easy to get bogged down in the details, running errands and keeping up with pop culture, fighting a losing battle with the publishing industry, looking after and enjoying a family, fantasizing about changing the world and anything else that comes along

and i didn't even mention my recent attempts at doing a regular comic strip or my hobby of building rather complicated things with lego blocks or my recent interest in cooking or my love for movies or books or comics

anyway, no watchlist for tonight. gotta go to blockbuster in a bit to exchange the two dvds i've had now since saturday (arrested development disk three and last house on the left). i think i'll try to squeeze in the latest episode of the wire and the latest episodes of the simpsons and arrested development, and there will be jeopardy and the daily show and whatever i get at blockbuster. as for now, well, it's laundry day, so i'm off to launderland soon

maybe we'll talk politics tomorrow

a long, long week so far
Mood:  happy
sick all weekend, in the hospital for a few hours monday, cleaned house and went to a dermatologist yesterday, not to mention dinner at my parents' house sunday, and it's only wednesday

at least it didn't come to suicide like with that guy at "ground zero"...

and speaking of "ground zero" i know in pearl harbor they've got that arizona monument and they left that particular ship underwater where it went down, but as far as i know, they salvaged everything else and cleaned up the place. see, pearl harbor has room for a ship to just sit there and be a big reminder of the attack. does manhattan have the space to spare for two big holes? seriously, isn't manhattan too crowded to bother?

anyway, i'd intended on doing a tv centric entry for monday, but couldn't get to it, obviously. what turned out to be "atypical chest pain" most likely resulting from a fucking hurt rib from our broken a sofa bed (good news, one part of busy yesterdat involved getting a new bed, to be delivered next week) kept me in the hospital for a four hours. got blood and urine sampled, got an ekg, a chest x-ray, the usual pulse and blood pressure measurements, nearly got a ct scan (cause the guy with the wheelchair asked for robert and the other patient in my room was named robert and happened to be out getting another test right then), and was pronounced healthy and sent off with a prescription for pain medication (good stuff that did its job already)

and then i had an appointment made weeks ago for yesterday, only to find out i'm old, apparently, and the thing on my hand was nothing bad

and, from being sick over the weekend, my weight got below 200 pounds for the first time in a few years, with over five pounds lost since last week

i'm healthy. who knew?

but, then there's television. and it isn't healthy. i used to watch almost every network drama and quite a few sitcoms, every week. in recent years, due to me getting a little more of a life and tv getting a little less, well, good, my viewing has diminished a hell of a lot. for this weeks, there's eleven shows on my list (yes, an actual list for the week, with episode titles and everything): the wire, huff, american dreams, the simpsons, arrested development, boston legal, veronica mars, lost, ghost hunters, south park, and good eats. not listed, but still watched: the daily show. also, last night i watched the rebel billionaire, which turned out to be pretty good for a fox reality show. i've got nothing on saturdy, monday, thursday or, now that real time is done with its season, friday

six scripted dramas, three scripted comedies, one hour long reality show, one half hour cooking (doesn't qualify as a reality show, in my book) show. eight and a half hours of tv. add in a couple hours of a the rebel billionaire plus two hours of the daily show and two and a half hours of jeopardy and i get to fifteen, which would be the equivilent of watching three hours of primetime tv each weeknight, nothing close to what i used to watch

i have actually been watching networks, for a change. the last couple years, i've barely touched the networks, and i'm still not touching cbs (i considered watching the new amazing race, but turns out it's going on tuesdays at 9, where i've already got veronica mars and next week get house, so i can't do it (not enough vcrs currently to deal with that)). the networks, like other forms of popular media are getting too mediocre, too shallow...

too episodic as well. except for some obvious exceptions--the simpsons being one--i go for ongoing shows with story arcs and ongoing plots, even if they put the focus on one main thing per episode (a al veronica mars). while csi is a seriously well made show, i just can't watch it for the same reason that most people can watch it anytime, whether they've watched it recently or not. i like having to know the characters, having to understand the background, getting involved rather than just sitting back and watching passively. i want to be pulled in, grabbed and yanked inside the show (on at least some level). i want something like the latest episode of american dreams, where less than twenty minutes in i was thinking i wanted the episode to go on and on (then i looked at the clock and was shocked to see it was only twenty minutes in and they'd just packed so much in i thought it must be nearly over). i want great writing, complex (read: realistic, not necessarily convoluted) characters, and good, sturdy plots

veronica mars has thrown in a few predictable bits (casting gave away the woman as sex changed mother and the stepdad rapist (though the latter hardly seemed that important by the time it finally got revealed in the episode, which was nice) but gives us a whole group of nicely rounded characters who, even when doing cliched things, make them work cause we can see why they're doing it

boston legal has thrown in a few too many quirks, and needs maybe a few more "straight men", but the central characters (notably alan and denny) are good enough to anchor the whole

lost has a great ensemble and even when heavyhanded (the moth bit, which could be read as the writers being heavyhanded, locke being heavyhanded, or the island itself being heavyhanded, which might change the verdict on that heavyhandedness) or less than revelatory (the ending of sun's recent episode, as compared to, say, the end of locke's), still holds up because the whole is sturdy, built on well rounded characters and an enthralling mystery

and, i'll end with a new show: huff (or, !huff). it's parts were good, but i got the feeling that there were whole scenes missing. i don't think whole scenes were actually missing, but the transition from being right there inside huff's head with him and stepping out was a little odd. i think the writers need to keep us in huff's head or keep us out, make us live through everything with him or make us just be witnesses from the outside, not both

as for me, lately i've got some new ideas for my fictional world of gardia, i've been getting back into clubhouse blues so i can finish writing that, and i've still got my mortuary centered screenplay to get to at some point... maybe i'll do an entire entry here about my writing stuff. that could be fun. until then, i'm off

and, i made almost no mention of politics. i'm so proud

p.s. in cooking related news, we got a waffle iron and a crock pot yesterday and i'm looking forward to putting them to use. and today i'll be making some torilla chips (tortillas cut up and fried in canola oil, salted with kosher salt) for dinner at my sister's house p.p.s. tv watchlist for tonight:

• jeopardy
• lost
• ghost hunters
• south park
• good eats
• the daily show

no words today
Mood:  down

i just threw up four times in a row. no politics today